i like where this man’s priorities lie



the reason why so many people prefer older men isnt because we have some sort of kink but because we know young teenage boys are a complete fucking disaster that can only be salvaged by the sands of time


You know those rooms in the hospitals with the glass windows where all the babies are kept? And there’s like a lot of babies in there? I wonder where all the babies I was in there with are today. All the other little babies who were born in the same hospital on the same day. I’d like to meet them


If someone points at your black clothes and asks you whose funeral is it, a look around the room and a casual “haven’t decided yet” is always a good response.


Imagine finding a dragon egg one day, and it hatches in your house and thinks you’re its mom. Then the next morning you wake up and find this mini dragon has gathered all the lose change and shiny objects in your house in a pile, and is gnawing on a nickel. And then when you take it out for walks, it picks up every coin it sees cause its a hoarder. And your house is eventually full of coins. And you are rich. And have a dragon.



This scene actually works better as stills


When Internet Explorer asks to be your default browser.


#70 years later and still accurate as fuck